Harry Pothead
by Barry Stark
Summary: Hagrid and Harry? Well lets just say their not having a picnic! Please review!


Disclaimer: I don't own anything and don't intend on owning anything! I also have never read a Harry Potter book in my life! By the way, if you didn't already know I don't own any of the characters in this story!  
  
Harry Pothead  
  
Once upon a time there was a very naughty little wizard named Harry Pothead. Harry attended Hogwarts but almost got kicked out because of drug possession and use! He was allowed to stay in Hogwarts because swore never to use drugs again. He was high at the time he said this. The only reason the cops believed him was because of his parents' background. They figured that if they were that good at wizardry then Harry could shape up.  
  
Well the cops were wrong! Harry not only used drugs on campus he also sold them to people. He walks around the campus looking like he is going to a class while slipping drugs in to certain lockers. He had no classes because he never signed up for any. He wasn't even sure how no one knew that he had no classes. He didn't care. When he wasn't delivering and everyone was in class he would go back to the dorm. Then he would create whatever magical consumption he felt like. Earlier in the year he stole the book on how to create drugs from the forbidden section of the library.  
  
Today he felt like smoking some marijuana. He got out the book from his hiding place and looked it up. He also had to make a special batch of cocaine for Hagrid.  
  
Harry: Dizzy feeling mellow and all three for a fellow! (waves his wand three times and three joints appeared next to the book) Now for Hagid. Spend a buck, sniff it up and its all good! (waves wand once and a small baggie of cocaine appears next to the book)  
  
Harry was going to take the coke to Hagrid and then smoke but a craving got to him. So he lights up and started smoking. Two joints were gone and he was high. Now, not being able to make good decisions, he decided to deliver the coke. He got half way there when Ron spotted him as he was switching classes.  
  
Ron: Harry! I got to go so I can't talk long but how are you. (Harry kind of glances at him with a smile on his face) Harry? Are you ok? You, well I have to go!  
  
Harry: Ok. I'm going.. Um yeah I'm going. I'm going good. Yeah! (Ron looks at Harry and wonders but has to go so he walks away)  
  
Harry made his way to Hagrids with out talking to anyone else. He let Harry in quick so no one would see them.  
  
Hagrid: I hope no one spotted ya Harry! Do you have the stuff?  
  
Harry: Yup! Did I ever tell you how good you make me feel?  
  
Hagrid: Harry? Oh your just high! Well it couldn't hurt to get a good feeling myself!  
  
An hour later they are both high. Harry smoked his last joint and Hagrid used the coke Harry brought him. They both were on the floor smiling.  
  
Hagrid: You're a wizard Harry! A very fine wizard! (Hagrid winks at Harry)  
  
Harry: I'm a naughty wizard!  
  
Hagrid: Hey! Stop poking me there with your magical wand!  
  
Harry: God, I'm stoned!  
  
Hagrid: We need to stop this stuff. I feel cold. (Hagrid leans over the fire)  
  
Harry: Hagrid, Your beard is on fire!  
  
Hagrid: Oh shit! I took me three months to grow this goddam beard! Now I'm going to have to start from scratch!  
  
Harry: Well I got to go. (sobering up a little he realizes he had no business being there. Harry headed for the back of the small shack)  
  
Hagrid: You know the door is over there right?  
  
Harry: Oh. Right. Thanks. I'll see you later.  
  
Harry left with a sense that something wrong happened in there. Oh well he didn't care. By the time he got back to the dorm, after getting lost a couple of times from being high, everyone was in the dorm. He had to make a good excuse as to why he wasn't in there with everyone else probably studding. He knew a good one and went in.  
  
Ron: Harry, where have you been? I mean I was looking for you to help me with a problem.  
  
Harry: I was at the library looking up something.  
  
Ron: Anyway, how do you turn a cat in to a dog?  
  
Harry: How the hell do I know? (Realizing he was still a little high he had to recover what he just said) I mean, my class is on a different leval and I don't know that yet.  
  
Ron: Oh (pause) Ok I guess I will ask Hermiony.  
  
Harry: That would be your best guess!  
  
Harry finally got away from everyone and was in his bedroom. He had a huge hang over and just felt like sleeping. He got in bed and was trying to go to sleep but his owl kept hooting because he sent it on a drug delivery earlier and never fed him. Harry had no tolerance for this bird!  
  
Harry: Shut up. Shut the hell up!  
  
END. New chapters soon! Please review! 


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